Na Gbola dey save me for this Lagos! Part 1

My name na Matthew Ekwunife, but my street name na touch something. Na wetin my guys dey hail me, whenever I land fine girl for free. I come from poor background, my family no get shishi, we no get house for villa, na for my uncle house all man dey squat whenever we go villa. No be say we dey even go steady, transport money wey be like house rent now. E don pass 10 years wey I see my village.

I be 3rd born, I get 2 elder sisters and 2 younger brothers. My mama first born don kpai, when she dey try comot belle for man, she dey secondary school that time. As we no get money na, the matter just quench like that, na so the doctor go free, man wey give am belle sef go free. The one wey follow am dey live with one man for batcher, inside Ajah. She born 4 children for am, na 23 years she dey, and dem never marry. None of us don see the man before, na for phone she dey tell my mama, she run comot for house when she dey 18 years. The man dey drive keke. My youngest brother dey do boi boi for person, the one before am, dey do mechanic.

Now, to me. I no finish secondary school, just like my younger brothers. I begin do small, small jobs to take hold body for batcher wey we sef dey live inside Yaba, for Lagos. I first do conductor, but yoruba people dey chance me wella, I kon comot go work for one mama Uka joint wey near my area. I dey clean the shop and wash plates, she dey pay me 1kpa, everyday. Na for there I work for 1 year, before matter kon change.

Mama Uka say she no want make I work for her again, her shop don cast, customers no dey too come like before. I kon beg am say I no know where I go start from, that 1kpa wey she dey give me everyday, dey help my life, plus the free food wey join am, every morning and evening. I dey trek dey go work and trek go house. The 1kpa dey tanda for my pocket, untouched. I dey save the money, make I use am buy better clothes and shoes put for body first, before anything. I know say my mama don dey already complain say Landlord dey disturb her for house rent, na 50kpa we dey pay every year. But I no dey reason that one at all, make she hustle wella for her akara business, take raise the money, my brother wey dey do mechanic sef go contribute, that one dey see raba pass me, though, na for person him still dey work for.

As I beg mama Uka tire, dey follow am up and down for the shop, she dey shout for me to comot, but I no gree, I dey beg am make she no sack me, I no wan go back to conductor job. She kon ask me how many years I dey. Shuo, I been don tell am when I start work, why she kon dey ask again? I tell am say I dey 21 years. She kon ask me one question wey all dis ogwu ego people dey ask, before dem initiate person into their cult…

Mama Uka; I go help you, Matthew, but shey you go fit do anything wey I tell you to do? Anything at all. I no trust small, small boys like you. Una mouths too dey run like tap wey dey leak”

Matthew; aaah! No be me o. Since last year wey I don dey work for you, shey you don hear anything wey dem say na Matthew talk? I dey keep things to myself o, na why I thin like this, no be say na only hunger dey do me. I swear, mama, I go do anything wey you tell me to do, as long as say I go dey see small raba take dey hold body. I no wan go begin dey stay for house or dey roam the streets, make I no join bad people, abeg”

Mama Uka; mmm, e don do, make I hear word, jare. See as your mouth dey sweet like sugar now, when time reach, you fit disappoint person”

Matthew; No ma, I no go f up, na me dey assure you like this. At least, I don work for you, e no plenty wey you shout for me, I dey put in my best for where food dey come out for me, abeg”

Mama Uka; you get girlfriend?”

Matthew; girlfriend keh? For which money? I no get o. Maale, shey you want make girl open office for my head ontop my 1kpa salary wey you dey drop for me everyday? Na when I blow, I go run girls, for now, I no get”

Mama Uka; I hear you, see your mouth. So you mean say you no dey collect something? You still be fagin abi na wetin?”…

As I no know where all the talk dey go, I kukuma say make I talk true, I no gain anything if I lie..

Matthew; no na, no be so. Say I no get babe no mean say I no dey collect na. I still dey get some chinchin babes for my area wey dey show me small love, sometimes”

Mama Uka; wetin be the small love? Call the thing name, no dey do like small pikin”

Matthew; aah, ma. I dey respect you o, I no fit dey talk some kain things for your face na, you fit be my mama like this”

Mama Uka; shey na insult or wetin kon be this one? Oya, comot for my shop. I resemble your mama? Because I get big body, you kon think say I don old?”

Matthew; this my mouth no go put me for trouble o. No vex for me, ma. If I hear say you old, sharp figure like you. I dey very sorry, abeg”

Mama Uka; e don do. Shey you know Meta hotel wey dey for T junction?”

Matthew; Yes, ma. I know there, that junction wey okada people dey stay, opposite am”

Mama Uka; ehen, na there. Come meet me there by 8 O’clock in the night, tell the receptionist say you dey go for room 206. If you reach, knock 3 times for the door, I go open. No let another ear hear this thing wey I tell you. If you like, make you let your mouth run like tap, na you go still lose. Take this 1kpa for transport, I no wan hear say na money for okada you no get, wey make you dey trek”…

I collect the money from her, kon dey go house. As I dey waka, I dey reason am. Wetin Mama Uka dey invite me for hotel for? Make e no be wetin I think o. This woman do old, forget say she dey form sweet 16. Orobo woman wey fit senior my mama sef. I no be small pikin again, dem no dey call me Touch Something for nothing, na since 13 years I begin dey run am, so I know whatsup. My sister friends that year, dey give me chest wella, I dey use hand do the work, then use móuth seal am. Na when I reach 16 years my gbola go first match.

Make e sha no be wetin I think o. I no fit carry Mama Uka at all. Okay na, 8 go soon knack…