That night eeh, I no sleep o. Person wey dem give this kain proposal no dey sleep na, I just dey awake, dey reason some kain things. Early mormor, my mama begin ask me where I keep the 50kpa, make she rush go landlord house go give am. Omo, na so I kwechiri, which yeye landlord be that? Person wey knack kpako together, dey call am house. Na inside canal we dey sh?t, to baf na another thing, make I no talk that one first. I know how many times my mama complain say dem dey peep am where she cover wrapper to baf. Na wetin make her begin baf only for night. E don tey wey the batcher dey pain me, I no dey even see face to use tell person where we dey live, except na person wey I feel say go help my destiny. I gats reason my mama to calm down first…
Matthew; you know wetin go happen eeh? I go carry this money go open account for you for bank, no be you kpai bros J, wey go make at this your age, you never get account for bank. Give me the landlord number, I go follow am yarn”
My mama; abobo, I no understand you o. I say I wan go settle landlord, make this shame comot for my face, you dey talk open account for bank. No be person wey get money dey open account for bank? Make I carry landlord money go put for bank say wetin happen?”
Matthew; maale, calm down. E get one job wey I get newly eeh, na Mama Uka friend run am for me, the job come with crib, better one o, no be batcher. Only you go get your own room like this, with toilet and bathroom, privacy go dey rush you, nobody go ever peep you for this life again, where you dey baf”
My mama; eeeh, you say wetin? I no hear you well. Wait first, make I sidon, be like my legs dey shake. You say na who get house wey I go get my own room?”
Matthew; you know that yesterday night wey my phone dey ring? Na the woman call me, na Mama Uka introduce me give am, she kon say I get talent wella, say she go give me better job for lekki, but I go need live around there, to make am easy, so the house na follow come. Car self involve for the whole package. Maale, your son go dey ride car for this Lagos”
My mama; abobo, pinch me. Pinch me first whether I still dey sleep. Na true you dey talk so abi you dey play with me?”
Matthew; play with you keh? I say our suffer don over like this. God don use me bring light into this family. My talent don pay finally, na to dey chop life dey go”
My mama; no, no, no. I never believe this one. See as my chest dey speed. I no wan get bp, abeg. Which talent you get wey I no know like this? No use me play o. Na me like this, Okafor pikin, go get room only me, go live for real house wey no be batcher. Something wey I never experience before. Na from mud house your papa bring me come out, to batcher. From one batcher to another. When I carry you for belle, the kain rain wey dey wipe me eeh, if sun come, e go land for my body, if rain come, the same thing. I been think say you go comot from my belle, but God no gree. Na you be the person wey kon wipe my tears, say I no go kpai for this poverty. Shebi if say your papa dey alive now, im for dey very proud of you. That man na better man, I swear, im too suffer for this life. I know say e don tey wey im kpai, but I still love am, I dey miss am badly”
Matthew; e don do, mama. You know say I no dey like to see you cry, abeg. If you start now, I go waka comot for here o. Just give me the landlord number, make I call am later. I go find wetin we need to take open account for you, I wan to dey dash you small, small money wey you go dey put for your account. See my new phone na, I go give you this one, immediately I get another one. You no go dey beg people for phone again, if you wan make call”…
As I still dey talk, my mama don lie down flat for ground dey thank and pray for me, me sef follow am lie down. Which kain thing be that, wey my maale go dey for ground just to thank me, wey be im pikin? I no gree o.
By 9 o’clock, my phone ring, na Mama Uka friend. I need to know this woman name, so that I no go dey call am Mama Uka friend again, e dey make me feel somehow …
The woman; Matthew, how you dey, You sleep well so?”
Matthew; I dey fine, ma.
The woman; straight to the point. How far wetin we talk last night, you dey do or you no dey do?”
Matthew; I don think am wella, I accept everything wey you talk, but I get small issue”
The woman; wetin be that?”
Matthew; I no go like dey live for fine house, make my mama dey live for this batcher. I go like make she follow me move into the new house, even my 2 younger brothers sef, just that dem no really be issue, na my mama dey my mind”
The woman; yes na, she fit move in with you. As long as no be girl wan follow you. I for even vex for you, if I later discover say you leave your mama for batcher. If na the only issue be that, send me your address, make I send driver to come pick you up”
Matthew; that one no dey necessary na, just tell me where I go meet you, make I blow bike come there. Driver fit loss for this hole wey I dey live”
The woman; hahaha! Matthew, you funny o. E be like say you no know who you dey follow talk. Na my sweetheart you be now, I no fit allow you enter bike again, and if wetin I hear about your gbola na true, you no suppose suffer for this life, na pamper I go dey pamper you. E get iphone 13 pro max wey I get, I never use am before, na wetin I go use welcome you when you reach here. I go dey the new house dey wait you. Oya, send address”…
After 3 hours, na so one fine, big benz land for front of our house. The car no fit the hood at all, people just come out dey look the car, some begin snap pictures in front of the car. Me just carry shoulders up like say na my papa get Lagos. I deck well with clothes and shoes wey Mama Uka buy for me. My neighbors just dey hail me as I enter the car. Mama Uka call me I dey road, say she wan see me, be like na daily knackis she wan dey collect, I tell her say my Mama send me somewhere, say I go call am when I finish.
The driver carry me go straight to the new house. If una see house eeh, bungalow wey fine pass duplex. My body dey shake as I enter the compound, I see the car wey she wan give me for corner, clean car wey dey shine. Driver wey carry me come, tell me say make I go inside, say the front door no lock. When I enter, I see the woman sidon for the parlor, she give me sign to lock the door. Inside the house fine děe, be like house wey I dey see for film. How this woman go get mind give me this kain house? I stand dey turn neck like lizard as I dey look around, but the woman no get patience at all …
The woman; I know say this house go sweet your belle wella. Come this side, make we check out the masters, na your house be this from today. Everywhere dey furnished already, na to just carry your bags and move in. Later, you go begin look around. Na this gbola wey no let me sleep, I wan check out. Come ooo”…
Sharp sharp, I don see myself for the bedroom, wey be like James Bond hotel room for American film. She no even waste time to pull clothes, kon grab me, use her hands pull my own. No be like Mama Uka wey dey command me to pull, like say I be toy. This one gently handle everything, the way she even position my gbola for her mouth eeh, Mama Uka dey learn. She dey follow my body movement, if e be her like say I wan pour, she go slow down small, then start again. E get when she stop sef, kon dey turn my gbola round with her hand, dey look am like person wey just see something wey she no believe dey exist …
The woman; how many years you dey?”
Matthew; I dey 21 years, ma”
The woman; E be like say you no know wetin you carry so o. Na this thing wey I dey find since to spend better money on, this one carry heavy weight. The way I go spoil you eeh, I just hope you no disappoint me”
Matthew; I no go disappoint you, ma. The kain thing wey you wan do for me for this life, I no believe say I fit ever get this kain luck. Abeg, no vex, wetin be your name?”
The woman; my name na Patience, but you fit call me Peppe. Tomorrow, I go tell you about me, for now, make I enjoy this thing wey God use design you”…
She kon remove the remaining things wey cover her body. I forget to even talk how nice she dey smell, like ice-cream, be like make I begin chop am. As this woman pull kpata, I shock. Na so I dey look her kpomo with my eyes wide, the place too neat and smooth. Flesh no cover am and no marks dey am, how she take maintain am like this? E too fine. Na so I rush am, ozugbo. This one no need to go baf, like Mama Uka. The scent wey come out as I spread am eeh, like fresh pap wey dem put plenty milk. I go chow this kpomo like tomorrow no dey …